It is day 4 since Gotcha Day and we haven't had much time to sit down at the computer to write any of our experiences down. And it's because there's so much to eat in Seoul! Cameron and I have had a great time gaining weight while schlepping around this Giggle Machine we call Toby.
I'll start a little back-story that leads us to Wednesday. Our friends, D and J received a referral for their baby J shortly after we got our referral for Toby. His visa physical was scheduled for the day before our Gotcha Day, so at the suggestion of D and J, we went to the Holt office to ask if we could see him. What a gift, as we got to hold him and experience him for just a few minutes. We had the wonderful opportunity to meet his foster mother. Little J was full of smiles and we got to send some pictures home to his forever family. I almost broke out in tears while holding little J, as I knew that within 24 hours, we'd finally meet his buddy, our baby, Tobias.
Our appointment to meet Toby was scheduled for 1:30 Thursday afternoon. For lunch, we went to a cafe we spotted the day before. Dukbokki soup was their special draw. This delightful play on traditional Korean spicy rice cake is served up as a soupy mouthful of flavor. Along with the dukbokki, they served up squid, japchae rolled in seaweed, shrimp all battered and fried to a perfect heart attack invoking crisp. We followed other patrons by dipping the deep fried yummies into the sweet and spicy soup. As we devoured 3000 calories of snack, we realized that we weren't exercising very responsible actions as parents to 3 toddlers. What kind of judgement would be cast upon us if we'd been blessed with three of the most lovely babies in the world, then ingested a suicide snack just before returning from Korea? Well, we said a quick prayer before we swallowed our last bite and walked around the corner for our long-awaited 1:30 meeting. So far, no heart attack, just a little more to the spare tires we've been lugging around;)
Finally, it's Thursday. 1:30 pm and we're standing at the Holt office trying not to look so eager, but we're both fidgety, needing to go pee, wondering why we feel like we've forgotten something. I mean, my goodness, I've done this before. With twins! And as Cameron and I converse, we both keep realizing the numerous things we didn't remember to bring from home. Cameron asked me, "Geesh, did you forget how to be a mommy?" And yes, I really think I've lost my mind. But the excitement and joy of finally meeting Toby seems to have drained my mind of all mommy sense. Oh well, we'll figure it out as we go.
Ms. You, our social worker in Korea call us into a meeting room. I walk in first. Foster daddy is holding Toby, who's smiling. Hand to mouth and my vision gets blurry as I'm welling up with tears. Then, I see that I'm not alone. Foster mommy, daddy and brother are there and though they welcome us with warm smiles and bows, it's apparent that they've done their share of crying. Teary eyed, we all sit down and converse about the beautiful little boy who's soon to be in our arms. Foster mommy shares with us that this is her 15th foster child! Though she's done this many times, they've never had a child for as long as they've had Seong-Bin (his Korean name). Because of this, they've grown especially attached, which is one reason why one of his foster brothers chose to come say 'goodbye' today. Hearing this makes me sob. We ask questions about his feeding, sleeping, play habits, development. We thank the foster family for the love they showed to our son and our gratefulness to them for bringing him up to be healthy.
Throughout the conversation, Toby adds in generously with giggles and smiles. He is a happy baby. Ms. You attests that he has a particularly good personality and exhibits very little stranger anxiety.
After the formal talks, Toby's foster dad insists that he give us a ride back to the hotel. Ms. You is tactful and tells us in English that it's our choice whether to accept this ride, but that she believes we should decline as it will make saying 'goodbye' more difficult for the family he's known for the last 13 months.
We heed her urging and tell them that we'd hoped to walk around town a little bit before returning to the hotel, but thank you greatly for your offer. Foster daddy says great news! He's a taxi driver and he can drive us to see some famous sites before returning to the hotel. Ms. You is gracious and Cameron, recognizing that Korean custom would dictate that we accept, finally says we'll happily oblige. Really, we didn't have a whole lot of choice as foster dad was already taking our bags ready to load them into his trunk.
And we are so grateful. During that hour, I got to see Toby's foster mommy coo. It was apparent that she enjoyed the extra time to say 'goodbye' to this darling. Foster dad enjoyed showing us a historical part of town then driving us up a big mountain to a beautiful view of Seoul. She tells Cameron how thankful she is that we traveled to meet our baby. Of the 15 babies she's fostered, only 3 parents have come to Korea. Other international adopting families have chosen to have their baby escorted, which seems to rob her the opportunity to meet the forever family. Though she holds no bitterness, she does express to us that meeting us has given her peace of mind and a restful heart.
We arrive at the hotel and with smiling Toby in arms, we bow low, we thank them again. Despite our eagerness to run to our room to enjoy our newfound joy, we do, as Ms. You predicted, have a hard time saying 'goodbye'.
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